Night on Splash Mountain
by Invader Gilly
Summary: Phoebe Clark gets thrown into the lively world of Brer Rabbit after riding Splash Mountain. Not only does she have to find her way back home, but she has to outsmart Brer Fox and Brer Bear as well.


**A/N: Welcome to the fic! A few things before we start. First of all, this is a shameless self insert. Second of all, I don't own Disney, Splash Mountain, or anything connected to it.**

**MOST IMPORTANTLY! I know that there is a huge controversy over the Disney movie "Song of the South" on whether it is racist or not. LET ME BE CLEAR: I am not racist. This fic is entirely based on the Splash Mountain ride with little IF ANY information coming from the cartoon segments of "Song of the South". I don't want to offend anyone by writing this. I have tried to make this as inoffensive as possible. If anyone has any suggestions to improve the fic, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. **

I have debated with myself over the course of several months on whether I should tell this story at all, but recently I have relented. Despite my tale being utterly ridiculous and totally implausible, I feel that I have to tell it anyway.

It's your choice to believe me or not. If you don't believe me, I understand. In fact, I wouldn't blame you if you gave up on this story right now. Go ahead, I dare you.

…

Wow, you're certainly a resilient one. Fine then. I suppose this whole thing started during that school trip…

It certainly wasn't the hottest day I'd ever experienced, but it was defiantly up there. The heat didn't really bother me, though because I was trekking through Magic Kingdom. Frontierland, to be exact. I'd never been to Disney before, and to put it frankly, it felt really magical.

The only reason I was actually able to come to Disney was because of the sophomore school trip. It was nice because we were allowed to go out in groups of four and the teachers weren't hanging over our shoulders every second.

Right now I was with my friends Annie, Jess, and Nicole, and we were practically running, FastPasses in hand, to the infamous log flume ride that dominated the horizon; Splash Mountain. Of all the rides, this was the one I most wanted to go on. All my friends who had been to Disney World raved about this ride and I was pumped.

"That's it then?" I asked, pointing to the somewhat intimidating looking ride, as a log full of people plummeted to the ground.

"Yup!" said Annie excitedly. Then, noticing me gulp slightly, she said "Relax! The ride's great. Not half as scary as Tower of Terror."

The four of us zoomed through the line and got on board the log flume, me and Annie in the front seat, and Jess and Nicole directly behind us. We had the ride to ourselves since it was pretty late in the day. The ride lurched, and with a splash we were off.

As soon as the twangy banjo melody started, Nicole (who loved music) perked up behind me.

"I love this song!" she said. "I always used to sing along when I was little."

"Me too!" said Annie, whirling around.

Of course after this the two of them started belting out the song in an un-Godly pitch. Jess and I looked at each other and shrugged. The lyrics were easy enough to catch on to, so we joined in as well.

It might sound stupid, but it was the most fun I'd had in a while.

"WE'RE GETTIN' UP TO THE BIG DROP!" Jess shouted over the sound of water as the music took a more sinister turn. We were approaching a steep incline, on top of which, two animatronic vultures were taunting us.

"Laughin' place, eh?" said one. "Everybody's got a laughin' place. Maybe this one's yours!"

Nicole shuddered. "I hate it when they say that."

Without warning, the vultures turned stiffly toward me. I thought this was just the mechanics until they croaked, "This might just be your laughin' place, Miss Clark! Have fun my dear, assuming you survive!"

The vultures didn't look fake anymore, they looked frighteningly real. Grinning ghoulishly, they laughed and turned back to their original spots.

I let out a shout of surprise and turned to my friends. "Did you see that?"

"See what?" said Jess.

"The vultures!"

"What about 'em?" asked Annie.

"They – they just…" I started, and pointed to the vultures. But there was no trace of what had happened before. The vultures looked like they always had, but their laughter still rang in my ears. "Never mind" I said, trying to put it out of my mind. But I couldn't. Was I going crazy? It must have been one of those things like lucid dreaming.

We were approaching the top of the mountain, which Jess had explained to me was called Chick-A-Pin Hill. In a small enclave to my right were some more animatronics. Brer Rabbit (I'm not completely clueless; I knew who he was at least) was tied to a pole next to a cauldron, begging Brer Fox not to throw him in the Briar Patch. Reverse psychology at its finest.

Finally, we were at the tip top of Chick-A-Pin Hill, looking down on the park. About fifty feet below us was the Briar Patch.

"Smile for the camera!" yelled Nicole, and then we were dropped down the mountain.

First it felt like a normal amusement park ride but I noticed something strange. Even though we were going fast, the Briar Patch didn't seem to be getting close any time soon. The flume started picking up speed. We were going unnaturally fast. Someone was screaming loudly, and I realized it was me.

I gripped the safety bar so tight my knuckles turned white. Water came up into my eyes, ears and mouth. I could barely see any more.

"Annie! Jess! Nicole!" I was trying to call for help but the water was choking me.

"Help me! Help!" I coughed. The log flume was still picking up speed. I was never good at gauging things, but it felt like I was going a hundred miles an hour.

Maybe it was my terrified brain hallucinating again, but it was like I could hear the vultures' laughter. I could hardly breathe. The water was swiftly filling up the bottom of the flume.

The Briar Patch was closing in. it didn't look like a mere prop anymore, it looked real. The flume and I tumbled into darkness, and I felt something scratch my skin.

Instinctively, I brought my hands up to cover my eyes. I couldn't feel the safety bar around me anymore. One thing was certain, I never felt so scared in my entire life.

Seconds after the total darkness, I was fully immersed in water, as if I had jumped into a swimming pool. My survival instincts kicked in. I needed to breathe. Dislodging myself from the flume, I scissor kicked until I felt myself break the surface of the water.

It was still very dark and I couldn't see an "Exit" sign. The moon hung low in the sky. Too weak to swim anymore, I let the current of the water carry me until I hit something in my way. I clung on for dear life and felt my way down it until I came upon the side of the ride.

Exhausted and shivering from fear, I passed out.

When I woke up, I was completely disoriented. My body ached all over and sunlight burned my eyes.

Waking up in any state usually makes me a big grump, so imagine my frustration when, in my already sorry state, I heard a chipper, Southern accented voice singing out,

"_How do ya do?  
Mighty pretty greetin'!  
How do ya do?  
Say it when you're meetin'!  
How do ya do?  
With everyone repeatin'!  
Pretty good, sure as you're born!_"

I finally managed to open my crusty eyes and pear about my surroundings. At first I thought I was still on the ride because I could hear the rush of water and see the "Briar Patch" in front of me. Even though I felt horrible, a flash of admiration went through my body at how realistic the ride was. It seemed totally real, like I was right there in the Briar Patch.

But this brief appreciation of the ride didn't last long, as it was overtaken by a tsunami of worry. What had happened to the others in my group? When the ride started going crazy, it was like they disappeared.

But that was impossible, I told myself. I was probably too blinded by the water to see or hear them. I just hope they got out ok and were able to go to check-in.

And what _about_ check-in? Surely they noticed I was gone! Weren't they looking for me? They must have been, but – it must have been hours since the ride went crazy. What if they just left me?

I started panicking. I had to get out of here! My school was going to leave me here all by myself! I could see them now… on the plane back to New York minus one student! My parents were going to think I'm dead! They're going to have to do that thing where they bury an empty coffin because they don't have the body! I'm too young to have a funeral! What was I going to do? I'm going to die and – and – and – WOULD THAT PERSON JUST SHUT UP?

For throughout my panic attack, the ridiculously perky singer had not stopped their incessant tune. At first I thought it was just the soundtrack for the ride but now I realized that someone was actually _singing_.

The fact that someone could sound so happy while I was wallowing in self pity was the final straw for me. As the song got louder as the singer got closer, I burst into hot angry tears.

Through my blurry eyes I saw someone (most likely the singer) approach.

"Howdy do?" said the somebody.

There was an awkward silence while my sluggish brain tried to think of the appropriate response while the somebody stood there waiting for one. After a few horrible seconds of silence, the somebody peered into my face. "Say, Miss," he (I could tell it was a he now) drawled, "You feelin' alright?"

The truth was no, I felt horrible. But, to be sociable I straightened up and rubbed my eyes, poised to make a response until I realized who exactly the somebody was.

He was an anthropomorphic rabbit, brown with a pink nose and cream colored muzzle. He wore a pink shirt and blue pants and an expression of baffled curiosity on his face.

I felt like I was going to pass out again. I was staring directly into the eyes of Brer Rabbit.

Then, if that wasn't shocking enough, something caught my attention in the corner of my eye. It was the reflections in the river. There was Brer Rabbit, but next to him was someone I'd never seen before. It was another rabbit, but this one was obviously female, complete with cartoony eyelashes. She had honey colored fur, with a tawny muzzle. A bit of fur was falling on her face so it looked like she had bangs. However, the frightening thing was she was wearing _my_ jeans and _my_ striped shirt.

_No way_.

As I blinked, she blinked. I reached up, she reached up. I felt the top of my head and – Oh, God! – there were two long ears right there where there shouldn't be anything.

This time, I really did pass out.

When I woke up again, I was a great deal more comfortable than before. Opening my eyes, I took in my surroundings. I was in a modestly furnished house that had a very country feel to it. Sun was pouring through the window in a cheerful way.

The previous events came flooding into my head, and almost with a feeling horror, I reached up and felt the two furry rabbit ears poking out of my head. I exhaled a breath that I didn't know I had been holding in. it was all true then. I looked around the room and saw the last person (or rabbit) that I wanted to see at the moment.

Brer Rabbit was sitting at a table opposite me, leaning on his arms. I gasped.

"Howdy, miss," he drawled, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

I managed to squeak out something that could either be interpreted as 'Howdy' or 'Oh God help me'.

Thankfully, Brer Rabbit took it as 'Howdy'. "I didn't catch your name before."

"I didn't give it" I squeaked out. "I'm Phoebe." Then I realized that it would seem a tad suspicious if I knew his name already so I said "And what's yours?"

Brer Rabbit grinned widely. "Name's Brer Rabbit, miss. Pleased ta meet ya."

Brer Rabbit stood up suddenly and I twitched. I suppose that it's just a rabbit thing – they can't stay in one place for long or else you get all antsy.

"Not tryin' to be _nosy_ or anythin'" said Brer Rabbit, "But what were you doin' down by the crik?"

"Um… I kinda got lost." I _had_ to think of a believable story. "I'm from New York…" TRUTH "and I have some relatives down south…" TRUTH "so I figured I'd come and visit them…" LIE "but I got in a horrible accident…" THUTH "some bandits mugged me! They stole all my stuff and threw me in the creek." LIE.

Eh, three out of five. Not bad.

"Are you're folks 'round these parts?" he asked.

Uhhh… "Kinda. I just need to get my bearings and I'll be out of your hair."

"You sure you don' wanna stay fo' a bit?"

I debated that. I needed to get back home to my own world but I felt like everything was connected to Brer Rabbit. The accident had happened on Splash Mountain after all.

"You wouldn't mind if I stayed?" I asked cautiously.

He grinned. "Not at all!"

After that, he waltzed out the room, hands in his pockets, whistling something that sounded suspiciously like "Everybody Has a Laughing Place."

I sighed heavily. This was going to be a long day.

**A/N: LOL I can't write Southern accents, despite over half my family living there. Again, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Oh, Phoebe Clark isn't my real name, just to be clear :)**

**P.S: I have a pretty busy life with school and whatnot, so even though I'll try to update regularly, it might be difficult. I'm sure you all understand :)**


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